Safeword: Arabesque (Safewords Book 9) Read online

  He chuckled around her nipple, and the vibrations were just another sensation.

  “You want me to tell you what I want?” she gasped. “I want you to pound me, to make me come again. Please.”

  He kissed his way up her chest, up the side of her throat, down her jaw, and back to her mouth.

  Lifting above her, he smiled and said, “You only had to ask.”

  His gaze lifted to her hands and came back to her face. “Don’t let go.”

  She nodded and he pulled out, pressed in. Slow, but she sighed in bliss.

  “So sexy,” he said as he pulled out and pressed in again.

  He picked up the pace and pleasure shot through her.

  “Please, Frisco. I want to touch you. Hold you.”

  He went to his elbows, his torso brushing hers without resting his weight on her.

  “Since you asked so nice, put your hands where you want.”

  She wrapped them around his torso and met him stroke for stroke, their hips pulling away and meeting in the middle in perfect sync.

  Both were in excellent shape, yet both gasped for oxygen.

  Cassie’s mind splintered as pleasure and ecstasy engulfed her. She screamed her bliss and thrashed under him, unable to handle so much pleasure at once.

  Frisco held her tight, kept her from flying apart into nothingness, and when she finally came back to reality, he grunted as he pressed into her and held, and she was allowed to hold him as he lost himself in bliss.

  His eyes opened and focused on her before he was completely spent, and she looked at him in wonder, awed that he’d let her see him in such a vulnerable moment.

  When he’d recovered, his first words were to make sure she was okay.

  She couldn’t find her voice, and had to nod to let him know.

  He pulled out of her, so slow and gentle, casually put the condom into a bowl on the table, rolled to her side, and scooped her into him. Holding her. Cuddling her.

  “Talk when you’re ready, or just relax. You feel good in my arms.”

  Cassie curled into him even tighter, her mind running thousands of miles an hour.

  She’d never had more than tiny orgasms and hadn’t understood why people thought sex such a grand thing.

  There was no longer a question of whether she was kinky.

  Emotions swelled in her chest until she couldn’t breathe around them, and before she knew she was going to cry, she was blubbering and practically hyperventilating.

  Frisco held her tighter, and rearranged them so he was sitting with his back to the headboard, and her in his lap as he held her.

  He didn’t ask why she was crying, didn’t try to make her stop. He let her get it all out and supported her until she finished.

  When she tried to get up to find a tissue to blow her nose, he told her to sit tight and he went to get them without her telling him what she needed.

  “Thank you,” she said as she accepted the roll of toilet paper. She blew her nose several times and discarded the used tissue in the same bowl on the side table.

  He sat and held her again, still quiet, and she finally said, “I have no idea why I cried, but thank you for letting me.”

  “I wish I could’ve fixed things so you didn’t need to, but there was a lot of emotion coming out and it’s usually better to let it.” He caressed her shoulder. “Do you feel better?”

  She nodded and leaned into him more. “Yeah. And, I wasn’t crying because of you, but because of me. You know that, right?”

  “I’d like to hear a little more explanation if you think you can manage it, but I was hoping.”

  He smiled and she laughed. “It’s just, I don’t know. I never understood the big deal about sex, you know? I had to work so hard to get these tiny little orgasms, and next to what I had today I’m not even sure they qualify as orgasms anymore.”

  She shook her head, not completely sure why she’d cried, though she knew it had something to do with the orgasms. “I’ll need to put more thought into it to give you more. To give myself more.”

  “When you figure it out, we’ll talk. For now, let’s get you out of the harness.”

  Chapter Six

  They stayed in bed and talked, then helped each other dress and went to Waffle House for food at around three in the morning.

  Frisco had texted Cam the night before to let him know he’d be home late, and now he texted again to let him know he was okay but didn’t know when he’d be home. He worried Cassie would go into a form of sub-drop if he took her home now, so he needed to stay with her a little longer.

  “Can you take off work tomorrow?” he asked.

  She looked at her phone. “Considering my alarm will go off in less than three hours, I should probably consider it.” Shaking her head, she said, “I have the time on the books but I hate to take off without warning our residents. They don’t deal well with unplanned changes.” She smirked. “They don’t deal well with change, but the unplanned kind can really throw them.”

  He leaned towards her and caressed the top of her hand. “You call them residents and not patients?”

  Her arm tensed at his touch and she looked around. She brought her gaze back to his before answering, “Yes. It’s more respectful and it changes the way our employees interact. Sure, they’re legally considered patients, but morally? Their families are paying top dollar to put them in our facility with the hopes they can live as pleasant of a life as possible.”

  He sat back in his booth but touched her foot with his. She needed physical contact, but the hand had been too much. Cassie wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection, apparently.

  “I sometimes feel as if I’m running a mental asylum instead of a restaurant,” he told her, “but you really do run one. What made you decide to get into the field?”

  “The term asylum has such negative connotations. We are more sanctuary, giving our residents a safe place to exist. As for how I got into it?”

  She shrugged, looked out the window, and he was pretty sure she was considering how to change the subject without his noticing she hadn’t answered.

  “If it’s too personal,” he said, “I withdraw the question.”

  Frisco didn’t want to put even more stress and emotion into an already emotional night; she’d told him more than she was comfortable sharing about the sexual parts of the evening, and he’d give her a break on this. For now.

  Shit, if he was going to find someone else to show her this world he needed to pull back and stop all personal talk. Start putting distance between them.

  Except she needed the connection now. After the way she’d surrendered to him so beautifully, pulling away only a few hours later risked doing damage to her submissive identity.

  She met his gaze, looked at the table, and then lifted her face and smiled.

  “I’ll wait a few hours to call in and let them know I won’t be in today. What about you, can you take off?”

  She’d taken him up on his offer to ignore the question, and part of him felt cheated, but he laughed and said, “I own the place. I’ll just need to get another manager to come in for the lunch crowd.” He took a breath and asked, “Why don’t we drop your car off at your house and then take a ride? I have something I want to show you.”

  She considered his suggestion a moment. “I don’t think I can handle another lesson yet. I still haven’t processed what you showed me earlier.”

  He laughed and rubbed her ankle with his foot. “No, not that kind of thing. I’ll take it easy on your emotions, but I’m not ready to drop you off and leave you alone yet.”

  She nodded. “Okay, I’ll play. What do you want to show me?”

  He reached for the check. “Let me take care of this and I’ll follow you home.”

  * * * *

  “You’re taking me on a hike? It’s still dark out!”

  “We don’t have to walk far and I have a flashlight. Trust me?”

  Cassie looked at him a few seconds before realizin
g she totally trusted him. “Yes, I do.”

  He smiled and told her to sit tight as he got out of the car.

  Cassie laughed when she realized he was walking around the car to open the door for her, but she let him. It seemed silly but she appreciated the sentiment. He wanted to take care of her, and it’d been a long time since anyone had taken care of her.

  As promised, they only walked maybe a half-mile before climbing onto a rock with a view of the city below.

  Frisco asked about silly stuff first — what she’d done in high school, the clubs she’d been in, what sports she’d played, but eventually got around to asking how old she’d been the first time she’d had sex.

  “I was seventeen, which was much later than my friends, but I wasn’t as excited about my first time as they were.” She shook her head. “If they were having orgasms like the ones I had tonight, no wonder they talked about it nonstop.”

  “Did you love him?”

  “I thought I did, which was enough at the time.”

  “But you didn’t enjoy it?”

  She shook her head. “It was a total disaster. It hurt, but I could tell he was enjoying it so I tried to pretend to like it.” Damn, she was not going to start crying again. “I hated it and didn’t want to do it again. He broke up with me a few weeks later.”

  Frisco had brought a blanket from the car and situated it so they sat on it and could bring it up and around until they were both bundled into it. His arm was around her, and he pulled her into him a little closer.

  “Guys can be such assholes. I’m sorry he hurt you.”

  Cassie laughed. “You aren’t required to apologize on behalf of the male race, you know. I forgave him a long time ago.”

  They talked about her parents until the horizon began to brighten, and were silent as the sky transitioned into a magnificent color pallet.

  When it faded to a normal blue Cassie leaned into him and said, “Thank you.”

  He kissed her temple. “Thank you right back, for being here to share this with me, and for trusting me when I said there was something worth walking along a dark trail in the early morning hours.”

  “I have a brother,” she finally told him what she couldn’t earlier. “He lived with us until I was fourteen, and some things happened and, well, my mom realized it wasn’t safe for him to live in the house with us anymore.” After a few moments of silence, she added, “I loved him, and understood him, and was pissed when she sent him away. I understand now it was the right decision, but I missed him terribly. Things were never the same again, without him around.”

  Frisco was quiet for so long Cassie wasn’t sure he understood what she was telling him. He finally asked, “Is he a resident? Do you see him when you go to work?”

  Relieved she didn’t have to go into too many details right now, she nodded.

  “Thank you for telling me. If you ever want to share more…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to pry, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I’ll be happy to hear whatever you’re comfortable telling me.”

  Cassie breathed out a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure how Frisco knew the right thing to say, but she thought she might be falling in love with him.

  Somehow, he managed to get her talking about her therapist. Not the deep psychoanalysis stuff, but the inappropriate things you want to tell your therapist when they ask how you feel about something, or how fulfilling it would feel to pull a super-soaker out and drench your therapist when they suggest you aren’t being honest with yourself.

  Frisco’s phone chirped and he pulled it out, looked at it, and said, “What time did you need to call in to work?”

  Cassie pulled her phone from her pocket, saw it was dead, and asked, “Can I borrow yours?”

  They both made phone calls, talked another couple of hours, and Frisco finally took her home.

  She was so tired, she did something she’d never trusted another man to do. She let him tuck her into bed and lock the door on his way out.

  Chapter Seven

  Frisco had lunch with Sam in her office an hour later. She was worried about Cassie, plus he wanted to be sure Sam was in the loop in case Cassie needed the support of a female friend.

  Also, he was still ticked at Sam for putting him in a corner, where he had no choice but to break his long-standing rule of not scening with women.

  “I told you I don’t do that stuff with girls, Chica,” he told her, his voice gruffer than he intended.

  “No,” she said, not the least intimidated. “You said you don’t get rough with girls. You can do the D/s without the S&M, you know.” Frisco didn’t say anything and Sam said, “Just tell me she’s okay today, Frisco.”

  He nodded. “She’s good. I made it good for her.”

  “Was it good for you?” Frisco glared at her and she said, “If you’re this conflicted it must have been incredible.” He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to argue, but she jumped in to say, “Here’s what I think. You’ve been raised on a good helping of Catholic guilt and you were mostly raised by women. Your mamma taught you women are to be treasured and you’ve taken her words to heart, which is a good thing.”

  She was pretty much right on the mark, and he nodded and said, “Men aren’t supposed to hit women.”

  “Not unless they consent to it, and get off on it, but your mom isn’t going to tell you that part of it.” Sam wrinkled her nose. “Parents and kids aren’t supposed to have those kinds of conversations.”

  No way would he let the conversation head that direction. He scrambled for a way to change the subject, and asked, “What exactly did Cassie say to you last night?”

  “She told me she hadn’t been able to look at you during dinner because she was afraid everyone at the table would see how much she wanted you, and what she wanted from you. She said she wanted to be Cameron on the leash.” Sam took her first bite, swallowed, and added, “She’d looked some stuff up, but the online stuff looked mean. I think she was a little starry-eyed over the way Cam and I danced, too. Apparently some part of her psyche recognized Cam and I are the same, she just couldn’t figure it out.”

  Frisco nodded and Sam continued. “I asked her if she’d be okay dating someone who whips men, and paddles them, and makes them clean his house and wash his car. She said that’d be great if he made them give her massages and wash her car, too.” Frisco laughed and shook his head, and Sam asked, “You’ve never considered the idea of a woman who might be okay with knowing who you truly are?”

  He wanted to get up and walk out, but said, “No. What kind of a woman could like…”

  He trailed off and Sam said, “I could probably introduce you to a half a dozen off the top of my head, more if I put some thought into it.”

  He could only glare at her, and Sam continued without appearing to notice his disgruntled attitude. “I think she said something about needing to know she’d meet everyone you played with, and could watch sometimes. I got the idea she’d want to do more than watch.” Sam raised her eyebrows. “How do you feel about playing with a submissive man and woman at the same time?”

  His cock liked the idea, but it was never going to happen. Sam seemed to be waiting for a response, though, so he rolled his eyes at her.

  She smiled and continued. “I pointed out she’s turned you down so many times you may never ask her out again, and she said you hadn’t flirted with her since my bachelorette party.”

  “Did she tell you to put her on her knees in front of me?” Yeah, he was still a little ticked over that. He understood Sam was trying to take care of Cassie, but there were other ways to go about it.

  “Nope, I gave her the speech about the lifestyle requiring you be completely and totally honest with your partner, and told her if she wanted to be Cameron on the leash she’d have to tell you. I got the impression she wasn’t likely to tell you — ever — so I told her I’d see if you’d explain the kink to her, to get the conversation started.”

  She’d been right, of cours
e. Cassie would’ve never volunteered that kind of information. He shook his head. “You have a helluva way of getting a conversation started.”

  “Why hasn’t Cassie returned my text? Should I be worried?”

  “I haven’t been to sleep yet.” He looked at his watch. “She went home and crashed.”

  Sam took a breath, blew it out. “Okay, don’t provide any details you aren’t comfortable sharing, but please at least give me a rough outline of how things went?”

  He shook his head again. “It’s like she was just waiting for someone to come along and give her orders. I stuck to mostly sensation play, and since she’d already talked about the blindfold…” He shrugged and continued. “I took her to Waffle House around three this morning for breakfast. We dropped her car off at her house and drove up Lookout Mountain, and were on the View Trail in time to see the sunrise.”

  “And you talked there until you took her home and put her to bed?” He nodded and she asked, “What did the two of you talk about?”

  “I got a complete rundown of how she felt about every aspect of the scene, the parts she loved, the parts she’s not too sure about. We talked about her mom, her dad, her therapist, the relationship she has with both parents now.”

  “Did you talk about your mom, your sisters, how you felt about the scene?”

  He worked hard not to roll his eyes at her again. “No, this was about her, not me.”

  Sam rolled her eyes and said, “Men can be such idiots.”

  He smiled because she was annoying him, and it was either smile or snarl. He knew how to annoy back though, so he said, “Such language from a submissive.”

  “Hey, I’m submissive to Ethan, not you.” She grinned and took a drink.

  Yeah, she knew what he was doing and hadn’t taken the bait.

  “Seriously,” she added, “this is about both of you. She needs to know what’s going on in your head just as much as you need to know what’s going on in hers. Relationships are a two way street.”