Infinitely Human Read online

  It was no longer my energy, it was our energy. Our heart chakras joined, our hearts beat as one, and I owned the energy of a god. It wasn’t borrowed. I owned it. He made it mine. Ours.

  Instead of every cell burning with the excess energy, they flourished with it. Half this much energy had nearly killed me in the basement of the little farmhouse, and yet now, I flew through eternity with it, both directions. All directions.

  Time is an illusion, you can experience everything all at once, without moving an inch.

  3

  I awoke in a magnificent bed in the old farmhouse, with Cora-the-wolf asleep on a cushion in the corner, and Mordecai’s arms around me.

  “I told her you’d change her back in the morning. Got you back just before she returned, so she didn’t arrive to an empty house.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You trusted me.”

  “If I hadn’t, would you’ve kept me locked up on Olympus?”

  “The thought crossed my mind.”

  I decided not to dignify that with a response. “I don’t hurt. I mean, I do, but not as much as I should.”

  “You were ready to jump to the next energy level — everything you experienced in China, combined with breaking the gateway in Cambridge. I just nudged you the last couple of inches.”

  “I jumped while in China. Aaron and Nathan talked me through learning how to pull it in, so I wouldn’t alarm the other supernaturals.”

  “Different kind of jump. That was raw power, this had more to do with how you handle it.”

  I didn’t respond, and he said, “The good news is that we shouldn’t need to expand your energy field again. You’ve moved beyond the need for it.”

  I breathed in, remembered the thoughts and concepts during my exhaustion, and said, “Infinity. I grasped infinity as I never have before.”

  “Yes, and while your energy is far from infinite, it can be vast. It won’t be until you learn to handle it, but you have the capability now.”

  I felt Cora listening, and I told Mordecai, “We should get dressed and figure out where we’re going for breakfast. Cora’s going to need food soon after I change her.”

  “You and I need to have our talk sometime today. Breakfast can come first, but don’t try to deflect.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He popped me on my bare ass. “Brat.” He followed up with a rub. “Take care of your wolf. I’ll give the two of you some privacy.”

  “Her name’s Cora.”

  “Right.”

  He walked out, naked, and I had a nice view of his broad shoulders, muscled arms, powerful back, tree-trunk legs, and oh-so-fine ass. He was still larger than life. An icon. A fucking god.

  A relationship with him wasn’t possible. I wanted to worship him. My body wanted to drop to a kneeling pose when he walked into a room.

  If I’d had a robe handy, I’d have put it on. Since I didn’t, I focused on Cora, found her inside the wolf, and pulled her out — slowly at first, and then faster once the physical change started.

  Within seconds, we were both standing on two feet, naked.

  “Where’d the bed come from?”

  I shook my head. “Possibly Olympus. I’m not sure. He took me there to bathe me, after our, ummm, session.”

  “Why did the word session hit as a lie?”

  “Because he fucking made love to me. It was… different. I’m a little freaked.”

  I walked to a corner, dug some clothes out of my duffel, and started putting them on.

  She switched to telepathy.

  He’s listening.

  I know. Hell, he might be listening to this, too. He’s a fucking god. Who knows what he can do. He knew when I went through the nothingness back to back, so he probably knew every time I went through it. I was through talking about Mordecai. “Did you find anything interesting last night?”

  “A family of foxes, an eagle’s nest, a great horned owl, and a pileated woodpecker. Lots of smaller owls. Also, a mating pair of hawks on the opposite end of the property from the eagles. I picked up the scent of a mountain lion but never saw tracks. I think she must’ve come through sometime in the past couple of days, but I don’t believe she lives terribly close.”

  “Could your wolf fight a mountain lion and win?”

  “Probably.”

  “Probably?”

  When she didn’t respond, I added, “Probably doesn’t work for me.”

  “I don’t know, but we aren’t going to find her and kill her. Once we have the Pack here, she’ll stay away because she’ll know she can’t win against a bunch of us. It’ll be fine.” She pulled her shirt over her head and ran her hand through her hair. “Waffle House okay, or are you in the mood for something else?”

  “Waffle House is fine.” We brushed our hair and teeth, and I put some makeup on. Ten minutes later, we found Mordecai on the back porch.

  Because we’d need to use the farmhouse for a few months, the back porch was bigger than the entire farmhouse. It was screened in, shaded, and had multiple ceiling fans. So far, we only had furniture on one end, but we planned to put in a long dining table on the other end, and a big bar on one side, with another large seating area in the center. Mordecai was standing at the far end, fully dressed, looking out into the forest.

  He turned to look at us. “Randall paid one of my associates twenty grand for the obfuscation spell.”

  “I’m aware,” said Cora. “I’m planning to put a large pavilion near the woods. We can change under the roof, and run into the woods without being seen from a satellite.”

  He nodded. “Why don’t the two of you have breakfast without me, and I’ll meet up with Kirsten later.” He met my gaze. “I believe you need some time to think things through, possibly out loud to your best friend, before we talk later. I’ll be at your house to pick you up for dinner at five.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but changed my mind and closed it. Five seconds to think it through, and I said, “Okay. Jeans or dress clothes?”

  “You tell me where you want to go, and I’ll take you. Dress appropriately. We can go to Paris, Hong Kong, New York, Key West. Wherever you’d enjoy having dinner. Let me know when I arrive. I can change clothes with a thought.”

  “If we go to Hong Kong, it’ll be for breakfast.”

  He grinned. “So it will. Still, tell me where you want to go when I arrive.”

  He disappeared, and I turned to Cora. “It can’t work.”

  “Does he want it to?”

  “I think so.”

  She closed her eyes a second and opened them with a chuckle. “Only you.”

  “He took me to the point of death, and I guess he expected me to go through the nothingness to make it stop, but I didn’t. I trusted him not to kill me. I think he was trying to prove to himself I wasn’t capable of trusting anyone, but then I had to go and prove him wrong.”

  After breakfast, we returned to our property so Cora could show me where the various animals’ homes were located. We used dirt bikes to cover mileage, but she had us turn them off and leave them about a half mile from each spot, so we could walk in without disturbing the animals too much.

  I’d installed an app on my phone that would map the trails we took, plus I used it to mark the locations of the various nests and dens.

  We came to a few places the bikes couldn’t handle, but instead of looping the long way around, I realized I could levitate me and the machine. It took a while for me to talk Cora through it, but she eventually got it, too.

  By the time we made it home, I wanted to crawl into bed, but I still had my date with Mordecai.

  “There’s this restaurant in Panama City Beach that makes Jack and Coke Icees. I mean, they don’t call them that, but it’s what they taste like.”

  Cora laughed. “Sounds like a plan. What do you wear for that?”

  “A bathing suit with a sundress over it. We’re going to play in the ocean while we’re there. The deck is right on the beach, so we just ha
ve to go down the steps, across the sand, and into the water.”

  I was sitting on the front porch in my bathing suit, sundress, and sport sandals when Mordecai came walking up the road in khaki shorts and a loud Hawaiian shirt. I figured he’d came through the nothingness to the woods near my house, and stepped out of them to walk the rest of the way.

  Mordecai is so damned imposing — I wanted to step to my sidewalk and go to my knees, or maybe even all the way to the ground, the way Nathan’s lionesses often do.

  I stood my ground, though. Or rather, sat on my ground. My porch, anyway. This was my fucking house, and I wouldn’t kneel to anyone outside of a sexual power exchange relationship.

  “I should probably give you permission to appear in my backyard and knock on the back door,” I told him as he walked through my yard. There, the idea of me giving him permission to do something worked.

  “This is good. I’d rather come to your front door like a proper gentleman visitor. Where are we going?”

  I told him the name of the restaurant — I’d had to look it up and double-check the menu — and he grinned. “I take it we’re going to play on the beach either before or after dinner?”

  “After. I’m hungry. Unless there’s a long wait for a table, and then I guess before.”

  He looked up a few seconds. “I just had someone write us in so it looks like we called ahead forty minutes ago. They should be calling us in about five minutes.” He offered his hand. “We’ll step into the parking lot, between tall vans.”

  I couldn't see a place before we stepped. I knew what a place looked like the last time I was there, but had no way of knowing what kind of vehicles were in a particular parking space. Mordecai obviously did.

  “Something you need to keep in mind,” he told me while we walked hand-in-hand over the burning hot pavement, “is the trail you leave with credit cards. I’ll pay cash down here so no one can show me in Chattanooga this morning, Venice this afternoon, and now Panama City.”

  “Why were you in Venice?”

  “You aren’t the only person I need to keep tabs on, Kitten.”

  “Is Josh in Venice?”

  “Josh is in Alaska.”

  I stopped. “No one’s told me anything about him.”

  “I know. Come, let’s get seated.”

  He’d calculated well, and we were called soon after stepping into the building — and seated in a perfect spot on the deck. The cool ocean air breezed in, and my insides relaxed despite the conversation I knew we’d need to have.

  “Do you want to mute us, before we get started?”

  “Dampen,” he corrected. “I use a sound dampener. No one will understand what we’re saying, or be able to read our lips. I’ll lift it for the server, so be sure you wait until I have it back in place after she checks in with us. Every time.”

  I nodded. “Josh?”

  “I determined he’s learned more than expected and dealt with a ton of shit, and he needed a break. So, for now, he’s living with a wolf pack, and has quite a fling going with a female wolf. He’s learning all about prospecting for gold. He already knew how to operate heavy equipment, so he’s earning his way. The wolves are aware of his abilities and trigger points, and they have someone more than capable of containing him if he loses it. He’ll have six weeks without lessons or exercises, and then we’ll send someone in to work with him a few times a week — upkeep more than new lessons. Meanwhile, they have two crews working this time of year, twelve-hour shifts, seven days a week as long as the weather allows. Between his shifts and his time with the sexy little wolf, he’s keeping busy.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “This can’t work.”

  “It can.”

  “For you, maybe, but not for me.” I met his gaze. “If it doesn’t work for both of us, it won’t work.”

  “Why won’t it work for you?”

  “I want to worship you. I see you and have to lock my knees to keep from dropping to the ground. I can keep from it, but I have to fight it. There’s no way I can ever truly be your equal, and I’m not interested in that kind of power exchange relationship.”

  “Do you want to drop to your knees now?”

  I considered, and shook my head. “It’s mostly when I first see you, or when you walk into a room I’m in, or I walk into a room you’re in. Now, you’re still this huge, imposing, icon of a figure, but I don’t have to fight my instincts to keep from dropping to my knees.”

  “Then do this for me — go out with me. Once a week. Once every two weeks. Once a month. Whatever we can fit into our schedules. Maybe you’ll get used to me, maybe you won’t, but it’ll give us a chance to catch up and talk.”

  “You won’t be my teacher anymore?”

  “If we run across something I need to teach you, we’ll set a time. For now, I think the Josh method is working for you, too. You need time to settle into your new energy pattern, but you aren’t going to get it, because everything will change when Cora becomes Pack Alpha.”

  “Two weeks.”

  “Yes, in two weeks.”

  Dinner was totally normal. I had three Jack and Coke Slushies or Icees or whatever, and tons of fried seafood. We played in the ocean. We walked the beach, and ended up in a condo unit. The door was unlocked when we arrived, and I decided not to ask Mordecai how he arranged for it when he hadn’t known where we were going.

  I awoke in my bed at home, with Mordecai beside me, his arm over me, his eyes open.

  “You transported us after I was asleep?”

  “Smokey’s in Cora’s room. I made it so he wouldn’t smell or hear us. When I take it down, he’ll probably be confused.”

  I laughed. “Don’t fuck with my dog.”

  A smile. “Not my kink. At all.”

  “I should hope not.” I stretched, and was sore in all the right places. I still had a butt plug in, too.

  “Will it magically stay in when I pee, or should you take it out first?”

  He grinned, and it disappeared. My rectal muscles clenched around nothing, and I closed my eyes while I got used to being empty. “You’re an asshole sometimes.”

  “No, but I like playing with yours.”

  I grumbled, sat up, found my equilibrium and made my way to the bathroom. “Cora flies out in a few hours and will be gone at least four days. She gets to pretend to be a rock star’s girlfriend while she guards him. Aaron’s flying me to New York tomorrow evening, so I can mediate a brainstorming session between his people, the FBI, and a few international agencies. Some serial killer’s moving between countries, and I’m supposed to make sure everyone’s sharing info and working together instead of against each other. Aaron’s convinced it’s a supernatural, but we can’t tell the various agencies.”

  “Who’s he sending with you?”

  “Patrick. Originally, Ranger was going to fly us up, but now he’s backup for Cora, and I get Patrick. Also, Horse is coming with Gabby. Why do you ask?”

  “New York? Celrau? Marco?”

  I shrugged. “Everyone assumes Killian’s in Hell or Faerie. Or maybe Canada.” I looked up, suddenly worried for Josh. “You don’t think he’s in Alaska?”

  “The wolves have his scent. Should he show up, they know what to do.”

  “Cora would like to have two full moons with her Pack before she’s expected to lead them into battle.”

  “We know. Realistically? Most of her warriors are Drake employees, so Aaron and Nathan will be leading them into battle.”

  He was right, but we still needed time to form a cohesive group. We might not get it, but we could hope.

  “Are you going to Aaron and Abbott’s party tonight?”

  They were neighbors, and were throwing a big shindig for the supernatural community. It would be the Who’s Who of the local power structure.

  He lifted his brows. “Are you taking a date?”

  “No. I doubt Dawg will be there – I think it’s just the top three
or four people from each organization. Nathan will be there, though he avoids me when possible these days.” I sighed. “If you’re there, please don’t make it weird.”

  “Would a hug and a quick kiss on the lips be too much? It’s only weird if we make it so. I know you aren’t big on public displays of affection even for an established relationship, but I hope you won’t avoid me to try to keep rumors down.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Most everyone present will know we’ve recently had sex because I’m sure I’ll smell like you. Those familiar with how you’ve trained me will assume it’s more of the same, and everyone else can go fuck themselves. Don’t do anything over-the-top, and don’t make it awkward. Please.”

  4

  My phone rang about an hour after Mordecai left, and I knew what Dawg was going to say before I even answered.

  “I have the opportunity to use Brain’s invitation for tonight’s shindig. Do you need a ride?”

  If anyone else had asked, I’d have turned them down, but Dawg wouldn’t expect a damned thing. If it worked out that he came inside and we fucked all night when he brought me home, great. If I got drunk and decided to spend the night in Aaron and Sophia’s guestroom, he’d be chilled about that, too.

  “I’d love one. Thanks for the offer.”

  “Is it okay if I pick you up at six? That way we can come back to the compound and ride up with Duke, Bash, and Gonzo. Their ol’ladies are going, too.”

  The bikers like to ride as a unit. They’d make a statement when they walked in, even with just four of them. “Works for me, and you just helped me decide what to wear.” Because a summer dress on a bike is just stupid. This would let me start out in jeans.

  I took Cora to the airport, had an hour-long video chat with Lauren, worked out in my backyard for an hour, swam laps and then meditated. The hardest part about selling this house would be moving away from my cedar tree. She was like a member of the family, which sounded ridiculous, but there it was. Finally, I went inside to wash my hair, polish my toenails, and wrangle my hair into submission.