Edge of Humanity (Only Human Book 5) Read online

  He was with his Master nearly two hundred years: watching, learning, growing. Gavin hid his power and acted daft, but he educated himself in secret from his Master’s extensive library.

  I’m certain Abbott listened to the whole thing, but he didn’t interfere again. Several times, I had to resort to my therapist’s tricks to keep Gavin talking, but that was okay. This was between me and Gavin.

  Cora stood at the door — the perfect guard. Unmoving and unnoticed, but her presence steadied me.

  I learned Gavin had been a Master Vampire a few times. He’d been the kind of Master the man who’d enslaved him had been, the first time. Later, he tried to be nice, and then turned cruel when he realized his people were trying to take advantage of his good nature.

  He’d ruled his territory through fear and torture when Abbott had moved into the lands adjoining his and made him an offer. Gavin felt the new vampire’s power and could never hope to defeat him — Abbott could’ve easily taken his territory, but instead he’d offered to join their territories and make Gavin his second.

  He’d refused, at first. Never would he put himself at another’s mercy again — even if it meant true death.

  However, Abbott had nurtured their relationship instead of attacking. Gavin had met the other vampires in Abbott’s coterie, and he’d eventually agreed to Abbott’s offer — and he’d been accepted into the fold with respect and caring. Abbott had given Gavin a home for the first time since before his father had died. He didn’t say it, but I could hear it in his voice — Gavin had been alone and cold for centuries, and Abbott had shown him how to love again.

  Abbott was the father Gavin had needed. Abbott had saved him, and Gavin would do anything for the Master Vampire. Even go against his wishes to try to keep him safe.

  It took hours for me to feel I understood Gavin, and once I did, I regretted what I’d have to do next.

  2

  “Abbott once tried to force his way into my head, but stopped before he hurt me. You came in the way he did, but you seemed to enjoy the pain of drilling through my shields — practically shattering my mind to get in and look around.”

  I hadn’t asked a question, and Gavin didn’t offer an answer.

  “Rinaldo and Griffin seemed to have more… finesse. Also, you drank from me later — why didn’t you drink from me up front, so you could take me over without hurting me?”

  He smirked. “You aren’t going to like the answer.”

  “You wanted to hurt me? Like raping someone versus having sex?”

  He didn’t move a muscle, and yet his eyes clearly told me I’d hit the nail on the head.

  “Abbott wanted me to think powering in was his only option. A card in his pocket, in case he needs to direct my thoughts later and doesn’t want me to know there are other ways in?” I shook my head. “He didn’t use it when I was breaking up with him, so that doesn’t feel right either.”

  “He didn’t share his reasons with me, so you’ll have to ask him about that. I came in the way I did because I wanted to show you I could. You hurt my Master and I wanted to hurt you.”

  “I can forgive you for that, but I can’t forgive you for jacking off to some of my memories, nor can I find it in me to ignore how badly you wanted to let all the life force flow out of me.” It was on the tip of my tongue to apologize for what I was about to do to him, but I pulled myself back.

  He needed to see me as ruthless. No apologies.

  “You don’t respect me. That needs to change. You raped my mind, and you…” I shook my head. “With your history, I’m aware you can’t really be raped anymore, so I won’t bother.”

  I walked around him, looked his delicious body over. He’d been restrained for hours, but vampires don’t get muscle cramps like humans. Still, I imagined he’d appreciate being let down — which wasn’t going to happen in the near future. Could I hurt someone and enjoy their pain? I was going to have to find a way to take pleasure in his screams, if I was going to pull this off.

  I stopped in front of him and crossed my arms. “You thought you blocked the memory of how you felt while the blood drained out of me.”

  “If I didn’t want you to remember, I’d have written something over it.”

  I nodded. I’d figured as much, which meant it was possible he’d done worse to me and I’d never know.

  I kept that thought in my mind for the next couple of hours. It gave me strength.

  “Here’s my promise to you. If you hurt me or mine again, I’ll torture you for weeks, possibly months, before I kill you true. I’m going to give you a little taste of what I’m capable of. I’ll earn your respect if it kills you.”

  “Abbott says you agreed not to kill me true.”

  I shrugged. “You should be able to heal from being cut by my weapons when they’re orange or blue. However, even Mordecai’s afraid of them when they’re solid red. I usually have control, but when I’m angry it slips, sometimes.” It hadn’t slipped in years, but I was certain I pulled off the statement without it sounding like a lie.

  I stepped to the side and disrobed down to a black microfiber leotard. It wouldn’t absorb moisture, and I looked forward to seeing Gavin’s blood roll off it. Or, that’s what I told myself. I needed to get into hurting him, which meant I had to convince myself I was going to enjoy it.

  I put my shoes and clothes near the door and gave Cora what was probably a grim look. This was going to get messy, but the drain in the floor would channel everything out of the room. Cora’s expression told me she was in it for the long haul, and I hoped she could see how much I appreciated her moral support.

  Without my heels I had to look up to Gavin even more, but that was okay. I’d been seated for a good part of our interrogation. I was comfortable and he wasn’t. Height was only as important as I made it.

  I held my right hand so Gavin could see it, and put blue claws of light on the tips of my fingers. A gentle caress of his chest, and four bloody trails followed my stroke. I went around his nipples the first couple of times, but eventually sliced through the center of them.

  The vampire didn’t scream, but he couldn’t keep the agony he felt off his face. I imagined feeling joy at his pain and hoped he smelled my pleasure and not my conflict.

  I hadn’t expected Gavin to get hard, but perhaps I should’ve. He’d been a sex slave at eight years old. He had good reason to be fucked in the head.

  This wasn’t about sex, so I ignored his hard cock and got down to business.

  His eyes were hard and he hadn’t uttered a sound yet, but his muscles and cock jerked when I let the claws absorb back into me and formed a wicked looking curved knife.

  And I have to admit — I found joy in his fear.

  I was better than that, though. It was true he’d terrified me, and true he deserved this, but I wasn’t one of the monsters and had no intentions of becoming one. I’d do whatever I had to do to keep me and my loved ones safe, but I wasn’t comfortable with the glee I’d felt when I realized he was afraid.

  I didn’t back off, but I focused on my task at hand instead of his reactions. I had to do this, but enjoying another’s fear and pain wasn’t right, no matter what they’d done to me.

  I sliced a straight line from armpit to armpit, just under his collarbones, an inch deep.

  I’d brought a scalpel with me, and I used it to cut two vertical lines down from the edges of the initial cut. I pushed hard, so it cut through to the ribs, and then sliced down, so the scalpel rode the top of a rib, pushed in deeper between, and then rode the top of the next rib. I continued until I reached the bottom rib on both sides.

  The scalpel went into the sink, and I returned to make another knife out of light. This time, I made a fourth cut, horizontal, to connect the lines below his sternum. It wasn’t a perfect square, but it didn’t have to be.

  It took a full ten or fifteen minutes for me to get all the skin and most of the muscle off his chest, so only his rib cage showed. The first time I dropped a huge pi
ece of skin and muscle to the floor, I flinched at the wet, squicky slap of flesh on concrete. Gavin’s eyes had been squeezed closed, so he didn’t see.

  He wasn’t totally silent — there were gasps and the occasional raspy growl, but he never moaned, whined, or screamed.

  Part of me is ashamed to admit I wanted to make him scream and beg. However, I didn’t hurt him worse than I had to. I worked methodically, intent on doing what I’d planned — peeling the muscles from the top of his ribcage, my laser knife severing tendons and ligaments where necessary.

  I’d been dragged into the supernatural world and hadn’t wanted to turn ruthless, but if this was what it took to gain respect, so be it. He’d hurt me, and next time he might kill me instead of merely hurting, but I meant every word when I’d told him he was going to respect me if it killed him.

  Still, when he screamed in agony near the end, I finally felt vindicated. He’d made me scream, and now I’d made him scream.

  When I finally stopped to look at my work, he was literally bare from his collarbones to the top of his abdomen, and from armpit to armpit. His rib cage showed, and there were places I could see between, to get a glimpse at the organs and vessels behind the protective barrier of bones. His lower body was soaked in blood even though he was no longer circulating it through his system. He’d keep what he had from the waist down, and I understood he had ways of keeping enough blood in his brain to stay awake and alert, but he was in trouble and we both knew it.

  Unsurprisingly, his cock was once again soft and looked kind of pathetic.

  Cutting a large circle through his ribs and sternum was a piece of cake with my light-knife. When I’d removed the ribs and gristle, leaving a saucer-sized hole in his chest, I once again made a production of absorbing my knife back into me. He didn’t know what I’d planned, and I could see the uncertainty and fear in his facial expression, even over the pain.

  Good.

  Not because I was enjoying his fear, but because he needed to fear me.

  Okay, so I enjoyed the fear, but I felt bad about enjoying it. Does that make me a monster?

  With purpose, I reached through the hole I’d cut in his ribs and sternum, and moved the lungs enough out of the way to get a good look.

  Vampires can control their circulation, and he’d made his heart stop beating a while back, but it didn’t matter. He was conscious, but only because he’s so damned strong.

  I met his gaze. “You’ve seen in my head, and now I’ve seen your heart.” I touched his heart, wrapped my fingers around it. It was as cold as I’d expected it to be. “The life force of the people you’ve drunk from flowed out along with the blood, didn’t it?”

  No answer, and his eyes drooped almost closed. I’d topped up before coming, and I pushed energy into his heart. His eyes flew open, and I focused warmth, but not heat, into him.

  He chuckled. “She taketh away. She giveth.”

  “I could rip your heart from your chest now. Would you welcome death?”

  I’d never noticed Gavin’s eye color before, but now I saw them as grey with a hint of blue. Dark, just like his energy. His soul. The only good in his life came from what Abbott gave him. Gavin would be an unholy terror without Abbott holding his leash. A junkyard dog, terrorizing everyone he came into contact with, leaving a bloody trail until someone took him out. Probably Ryan.

  “I have a purpose now,” Gavin told me. “I have people who depend upon me. Abbott gave me a new family. I would no longer welcome death.”

  He was doing the best he could with his dark soul. I released the grip I held on his heart and pulled my hand from his chest, careful not to rip anything major loose,

  I looked past him to Cora. I think it’s time to feed him.

  She walked to the refrigerator and pulled out the metal sport bottle full of blood. We aimed heat at it a brief second, and she extended the straw.

  “We heated it with our energy,” I told Gavin. “Drink.”

  The esophagus comes down behind the heart, so anything he drank would go to his stomach.

  There’s something nurturing about feeding someone. We weren’t in any danger of Stockholm Syndrome, but it was so easy to see how it could happen. I’d hurt him and now I was giving him comfort and sustenance. Hell, I’d been bound and tortured enough, and then given awesome aftercare, it’s possible the same psychological bits happen with consensual play, too.

  Within an hour, he appeared whole again, though I still hadn’t taken him down. It would take longer for his bones to grow and harden, but the skin and muscle were back, so he looked whole.

  I’d showered and changed in the playroom’s facilities after he’d drank the blood, so I was back in clothes and he was still nude. It was time to tell him why he hated me so much, and I chose my words carefully.

  “You don’t fear much, but you’re terrified at the thought of losing Abbott. You could be a Master Vampire — you’re plenty strong, but you don’t trust yourself not to abuse the power and become like the men who hurt you so badly when you were young.”

  He glared at me, but didn’t tell me I was wrong.

  “Abbott’s your safety net; you’re his guard dog. It’s a healthy relationship, and I’m glad the two of you have each other. However, it means you must get rid of anything — or anyone — who in any way threatens your security. Your safety net. Your Master.”

  He lifted his chin, and I wondered if he even knew he’d just agreed with me.

  “I exposed a weakness in Abbott’s heretofore invulnerable walls. He couldn’t control me. I walked away. He was hurt. Lack of control exposed a weakness. You couldn’t let it stand.”

  “He still cares for you. You’re a liability.”

  I shook my head. “I was for a few weeks, but you have to admit I did everything in my power so no outsiders saw his weakness.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters. I care about Abbott — even now, when I’m so pissed at him I want to cut him to pieces, but I’ve sliced into him twice and should probably avoid doing it a third time. I don’t want him dead, and I don’t want anyone else to be Master Vampire in my town. I respect his title and authority. His leadership.” I sighed. “I’m not pissed about being used as bait, but about the way he did it. I’d have used myself as bait, if he’d asked.”

  Gavin shook his head. “It wouldn’t have worked. We needed to abduct you for real to convince Rinaldo.”

  “I know. It’s been explained and I get it, but you went farther than you should’ve.” I took a breath and considered how to word what I needed to say. “I won’t demand an apology from you. If you’d like to offer one, I’ll accept it, but not today. Do you understand?”

  He wiggled his fingers. “Yeah. You want it when I’m not under duress. Why am I still in shackles?”

  “You’re open. Naked. It’s hard to shut someone out when you’re restrained spread eagle.”

  He lifted a brow and smirked. “Spoken as someone who knows from experience.”

  “I want two things from you. First, Bran wants me to accompany him to a wolf ceremony in Salt Lake City. Do you have a female you can send in my place? Arm candy who can help guard him, and who’ll help him out politically? Someone he’d rather have by his side than me? If he says he’d rather have me, I’ll be stuck going. I have no issues following through on my promise, but I’m not sure I can be quiet when I see human slaves treated as…” I shook my head. “My goal is to pull out of supernatural society, and I have a feeling this event would just pull me in deeper. Something tells me you know someone who’ll enjoy the party.”

  Gavin smiled. “I do, and she owes me a favor. That one’s easy. What else?”

  “A public appearance of the three of us — you, me, and Abbott. I’ll listen to Abbott’s counsel about the best way for us to arrive and leave — as long as we have clothes on and don’t have sex.” I shook my head. “Or whatever else it takes for public perception, so we’re seen as allies and not enemies.”


  He looked at me without speaking, his face emotionless. I took my seat in the chair, which I noted Cora had moved back into place.

  “I’m not a weakness to him anymore. He’s back in his right mind and isn’t going to be stupid.”

  “He won’t do anything politically stupid, but don’t kid yourself about his feelings for you.”

  “I have a promise to make,” Cora said from her spot on the wall. She walked to us, uncrossed her arms, and stood slightly in front of me but to the side, so she didn’t block my view of Gavin.

  “I have no desire to be Alpha, but if something should happen to Kirsten and it’s the only way to get my revenge for her death — I’ll take it in a heartbeat, and no Strigorii will be left alive in my territory.” Cora had been third in the Pack when I met her. Now she was Randall’s Second. Most people weren’t aware of Cora’s true power, but Gavin was in a position to understand.

  The vampire looked from Cora to me, and nodded. “I’ll do what I can to fix public perception.”

  “Just so we’re clear — if you use anything you got from my head against me or those I care about, or if you hurt me or mine again in any way, you’ll look back on tonight as a walk in the park. I’ll torture you in ways you can’t imagine before I kill you true.”

  I walked to the wall and pushed the button so the winch would let his arms down. My heels clicked once again as I returned to him, and I released a single wrist shackle.

  “Abbott left clothes for you in the basket by the door. I’ll send one of the wolf-guards in to feed you in a few minutes. Please join me in the basement great room when you’re able.”

  The room was full of vampires when we entered, but everyone left except Abbott and Kendra. I knew the vampires who’d left would still hear us though, so I spoke telepathically to Abbott.

  Thank you for not intervening.

  Abbott shook his head. I should’ve known you wouldn’t let him off with simple torture.